Exploration: Finding Gratitude in Cancer

A good friend of mine and fellow blogger recently wrote anarticle about love, sex and cancer. She is disturbed by the multitude of womenwho simply have a slimmer chance at love than men. She has heard story afterstory of women whose husbands have walked out, sometimes leaving them withyoung children, when they have cancer. Or waited till they finished treatment,and then walked out. This can happen to men as well, though is not as likelysays Jean. I am sure this is true for the majority. You take the pigs who wantto feel young by being with a much younger woman, and the fact thatin the 40-50 age group, there are more women than men. Makes Jean have a validpoint. So where is the love when you mix cancer into the picture?

I think, when it comes to someone having cancer, the end result remainsconstant. Cancer is a very hard thing to have to deal with. Whether you are apatient or a caregiver, each have their own set of problems andhardships. Both can put a tremendous strain on one’s self.

Can love:

1. Stand the test of time during these hardships?

2. Find its way into your life when trying to find that special someone?

Like life, each situation bears its own set of outcomes. Those outcomes dependon the individuals that are dealing with the particular situation. Each one ofus may handle things in a completely different manner. Love can withstand thehardships that are thrown at us no matter what we have to deal with. Thequestion is…..is your love the kind that is strong enough to handle suchthings? It must be strong and steadfast to make it through. You and your spousemust be strong individuals as well. But let one weak link disturb that…andPOW! You have a problem.

I believe that love can find a way into your life with or withoutcancer. It will not be easy, it may take longer, but it IS possible. My problemis that I see what I see in the mirror every day. I am not what I used to be. Ifeel the pain from the radiation side effects, a constant reminder of thediagnosis 8 months ago. Other people only see me for whom I am, NOT what Ihave. Even though I struggle with this fact, I know that it remains true. Thisis one of the many things that help me make it through the rougher times.

Love not only remains in the hearts of the opposite sex. It remains steadfastif the hearts of family. Your children, your Mother or Father. It remains withyour Aunts and Uncles, Grandparents and with your close friends. Oncehaving a life altering experience, you can have a change of attitude. It is notalways for the better either. It happens to the best of us. It seems to be partof the healing process. We do not like it, but most of all of us go through it.Cool thing is, family is there for you when you are ready to come back to anormal reality. Though your family may be upset with you from time to time,they still care.

So can gratitude be a part of cancer and can love survive cancer? Damn straightit can. Sometimes you just have to open the eyes in order to see it. Sometimesyou just have to allow it to happen. Heck, there is love all around if you cansee it. The whole earth was built with love and admiration for all of mankind.Take the time to see the love, when the leaves in the trees blow, the fish jumpfrom the lake or you make that first snow angel. It is there all around you.

No matter whom we may share our lives with, we all deserve to behappy in order to have that self fulfillment in life. We all deserve tohave and experience love. I do every day. You just have to see it tofeel it.

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